SIGH AND SAY BYE/SOMETHINGS JUST CANT BE FIXED

          I AM THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR CHILDREN. I AM GROWN AND SO ARE THE OTHER CHILDREN. I AM IN TOTAL DESPIRE THIS NIGHT. I AM TRULY DEVASTED BECAUSE THE LOVE OF A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER IS NOT LOVE AT ALL. I HAVE TRIED THROUGHOUT THE YEARS TO BE CLOSE TO HER MY SIBLING BUT SHE IS HARD TO LOVE. I CANT KEEP LOVING SOMEONE THAT DOESNT LOVE ME BACK. I TRY TO DO ALL THAT MY MAMA AND DADDY WOULD LIKE FOR ME TO DO BUT I HAVE BEEN TRYING FORTY YEARS OF MY LIFE. THE EMOTIONAL PAIN OF CONSTANT ARGUMENTS AND VERBAL FIGHTS I CANT BEAR NO LONGER. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE IN THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW, I THOUGHT WE WOULD TRY TO NULL OUR DIFFERENCES AND LIVE HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY TO OUR BEST ABILITIES.

          I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN DO. I CANT LOVE SOMEONE THAT DOESNT WANT TO BE LOVED. I CANT CONVERSATE WITH ANYONE THAT DOESNT WANT COMMUNICATION. I CANT HELP SOMEONE THAT THINKS SHE NEEDS NO HELP AT ALL. I DONT NEED A BOSS THAT CONTROLS MY LIFE. I NEED NO BOSS AND ESPECIALLY SOMEONE THAT HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. NO ONE CAN FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING THAT I DONT WANT TO DO. IM DONE.

          I THINK ABOUT MY MAMA AND WHAT SHE FEELS ABOUT ALL OF THIS BETWEEN HER AND I. I KNOW SHE IS NOT HAPPY BUT SHE KNOWS THE PROBLEMS. THE ISSUE BETWEEN US IS NOT A GOOD INFLUENCE FOR MY DAUGHTER. I CANT STAND IT. FAMILY DEPARTURE HURTS ME EMOTIONALLY. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO EXPRESS MY SISTERLY LOVE AND I RECEIVE NOTHING BUT A HARSH COLD I LOVE YOU AFTER BEING COMPLETELY EMBARASSED BY HER ACTIONS. THIS MORNING I GOT A CALL AND EVERY CALL IS ALWAYS SOMETHING DEPRESSING. SHE TOTALLY DISRESPECTED ME AND MY DAUGHTER. THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD HEARD HER ABSURD WORDS AND SEEN HER ACTIONS. MY PARENTS DID NOT RAISE US UP LIKE THAT, WHERE IS THIS FURY COMING FROM, AND WHY IS HER ACTIONS THE WAY THAT THEY ARE?

     I HAVENT SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVED HAPPINESS BUT I DONT CAUSE PAIN TO OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I HAVENT ACHIEVED MY GOALS IN LIFE. I HOLD ON TO THE HANDFUL OF PEOPLE THAT DO CARE FOR ME AND THANK GOD FOR THE ONES THAT I TRULY CAN SAY LOVE ME. I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN DO AND I CANT STRESS MYSELF TRYING TO SOLVE AN ISSUE THAT I CANT RESOLVE. THE RESOLUTION IS HERS TO RESOLVE. SHE HAS TO HELP HERSELF. I CANT DO THAT FOR HER. THE TERRIBLE INCIDENT THAT OCCURED TODAY OPENED MY EYES AND I REALIZE THAT I HAVE STRESSED MYSELF SO BADLY WORRYING ABOUT THIS DAY. I KNEW THAT OUR DIFFERENCES WOULD COME TO THIS ONE DAY AND SO IT IS THIS DAY. I PRAYED TO GOD TODAY AFTER THE INCIDENT, WHILE I WAS LISTENING TO GOSPEL MUSIC, AND GOD SPOKE TO ME AND SAID," LET GO". I AM GOING TO DO EXACTLY WHAT GOD TOLD ME. I AM SAD BUT I GOTTA LET GO. IM STRESSED AND UNHAPPY. AT THIS TIME I WOULD BE HAPPIER SEPARATING AND A KISS GOODBYE. MY BROTHER THAT RESIDES WITH HER I LOVE. I LOVE YOU ACF. IM SORRY FOR THE FEELINGS I HAVE BUT LIL SIS HAS GOT TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO. I AM SAD BUT HAPPY. IM SAD BECAUSE I HAVE TO SAY BYE AND HAPPY BECAUSE I AM DELIVERED FROM STRESS AND A LACK OF FAMILY APPRECIATION.